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How To Say “NO” Without Ruining Friendships
New research shows the fear of declining invitations is bigger than reality.
Do you remember sitting around an eternity waiting for the party invitation, only to feel a shiver of fear creeping down your spine as soon as you do get that invitation? I do.
One of the very vivid moments was one that sums up my struggles with saying “no.” It was a bright Saturday morning, and sunbeams were streaming in through the window into cheerful designs on the floor.
The phone rang out with an invitation to attend a friend’s birthday party coinciding with an exhausting week. Feeling a flutter of sentiment at the scene of celebrating with friends, a weight seemed to drop squarely onto my chest.
Every fibre of my being screamed at me: “You have to take this time for you!” And yet the prospect of no sent riling tendrils of anxiety through my very being. Would my friend get hurt? Would they think me uncaring?
As I gazed up at this garish group text, the reason it sprang forth upon my mind was that my fear to say “no” seemed to loom larger than the small act itself.
Then it struck me: this wasn’t a type of problem unusual to face; this is a generalized struggle — a kaleidoscope of social anxiety many people face…
